8 months ago I participated in a periscope pass the cast. The topic was, “What/Who could you go with out for 3 month.”
Periscope changed everything
In preparing for this scope, I debated with myself of letting people in and let them know the real me. After, spending hours of trying to figure what I would talk about, how much I would talk about, no I couldn’t say this without saying that. The longer this went on the more I cried, my stomach hurt, my chest hurt.
I was beginning to get a panic attack.
I began writing in my journal again.
I hadn’t written anything down, much less in a journal in years. I mean I thought up until that day I thought I was doing good. boy, way I wrong. I wrote for an hour and when I stopped writing, I felt better.
I realized that all these years I wasn’t thriving, I was merely surviving and hadn’t ever really gotten over everything that has happened to me.
I then read what I wrote
The people I could give up for three months would be my father, my ex husband, and an ex boyfriend. After reading this sentence I almost changed it as I was thinking silly you have gone more than 3 months at a time in your life without these people so why now? Well, I kept reading. The reason I could give them up is for the sexual abuse as a child and a teen I experienced, and the verbal and emotional abuse I received from any of these. I then went into greater detail in my story.
I realized by telling my story on periscope, “What if other people changed how they looked at me?” I didn’t care, honestly. For the first time I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me.
I told my story on periscope and learned that in this world and that group that night I was not alone. My story may not be the same as someone else’s, but they may have gone through something worse or similar. I also, realized there may be others out there like me that have bottled it all up inside, and are experiencing that same depressed, worth less, failure, ugly, dying inside, and just going through the motions in life.
I am here to tell you that you are not alone. You are strong!
Your story may help someone else out. Just as Kelley Alsobrook, her support group, and her book has Sshh…I’ve got a secret has helped me.
By telling your story it will set you free, as bottling it all up only makes it worse. Trust me on that one. It took me 40 years to get it out, and get set free.
Lastly, I know this one is easier said than done, but forgive them.
I am only saying this, because forgiveness will help you. It will help set your free, as once you forgive them and tell your story they no longer have power over you.
If you have gone through any kind of adversity in your life, if you can relate, or would like help finding a group, someone to talk to, ask questions about my story comment, share or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s chat.